Embracing Boredom and Being
The holiday season is nearing and this also means that schools take a well-deserved break.
As parents and caregivers consider the time ahead, some are already quivering at the thought of filling the endless hours to keep their children happy, occupied, and preferably not maiming each other.
As a young child, we spent countless hours during the holiday breaks making our own fun. Be it making secret pathways in the overgrown bushes up our driveway, playing ‘spotlight tiggy’, or creating plays that we would perform to family and friends, the space of nothingness allowed our creativity to grow.
In a world where screens, gadgets, and distractions abound, the idea of letting kids feel bored might seem like an outdated concept. However, as Daniel Pink, a recognised author on the science of motivation, states “Guarding kids from ever feeling bored is misguided in the same way that guarding kids from ever feeling sad, or ever feeling frustrated, or ever feeling angry is misguided.”
In today's fast-paced, hyper-connected world, children are bombarded with stimuli from a young age. Parents and caregivers often feel the pressure to keep their kids engaged at all times, fearing that boredom will lead to wasted time, frustration or getting into trouble. As a result, children are rarely allowed to experience the benefits of boredom, which include creativity, self-discovery, and the development of problem-solving skills. Our misguided pursuit of constant stimulation has hindered our children’s ability to sit in their own (dis) comfort.
Boredom is not the enemy; it is, in fact, a fertile ground for creativity. When children are left to their own devices without constant stimulation, they are forced to use their imagination and creativity to fill the void. This is where innovative ideas are born, and new talents are discovered. Boredom allows children to explore their interests and develop their own unique passions. This is not to say you might not suggest some options, or provide some stimuli, but too much parental input and stimulation can stop creativity that is born of ‘boredom’.
Believe me, having two very active boys of my own (now adults), I had to support them (and myself at times!), to navigate the space of ‘nothingness’ when arguments and niggles would arise. It was painful for us all at times, but leaving them to sort it out themselves and come to a decision on what they would like to do, provided them with far more relational intelligence skills than telling them what to do would ever foster.
As parents and caregivers, like walking a tightrope, it is hard to strike the balance between too much and not enough input.
It can, however, begin with us. Modelling to our children that it is ok to have downtime that is unplanned is important. What we model, they learn.
Not over-scheduling their lives and time is something else to be aware of. Providing unstructured time that encourages children time to explore their interests and experience boredom will not only open space for creativity, but also teach them how to just ‘be’.
In a world that often values constant stimulation and instant gratification, it is essential to remember that we are not Human-Doings, we are Human-Beings.