Pause Before Pursuit

Pause Before Pursuit

I’ve noticed something.

When urgency creeps in—whether it’s to solve a problem, fix a conversation, or chase clarity—we can often forget to pause.

We rush toward action, toward certainty, toward getting it right.

But in that rush, we miss things.
The tone under the words.
The truth behind the reaction.
The quiet invitation to wait, to listen, to hold back just a little.

What if the pause is where wisdom lives?

What if the breath before the pursuit is the moment that matters most?

Lately, I’ve been practising the pause. Not perfectly, but purposefully.

Sometimes it’s one slow inhale.
Sometimes it’s a quiet question instead of a quick solution.

And often, that’s enough to shift everything.

A few questions I’m sitting with:

• What am I assuming right now?

• What’s the most generous explanation I haven’t considered?

• Is this the moment to move… or the moment to listen?

The pause isn’t weakness.
It’s presence.
It’s strength held softly.
And sometimes—it’s the wisest step we can take before the next one.

Go gently,
Mary-Anne 

Let Them!

Let Them!

Have you noticed how loud the voices can get?
Not the ones that hold us with care.
The others—the sideline voices.
The ones that sit in judgement masked as concern, yet still take up far too much space in our minds.

We find ourselves bending, explaining, overthinking—trying to be understood, to be liked, to keep the peace.

It’s exhausting.

Then enters two simple words:
Let them.

Let them misunderstand.
Let them judge.
Let them choose differently.

Not out of anger.

Not because we don’t care.

But because we’re learning not to hand our worth to those who were never meant to hold it.

Some gentle questions I’m asking lately:

• What if I stopped chasing approval that costs me my clarity?

• Who am I giving energy to, and why?

• What would change if I simply… let them?

A few phrases that help me re-centre:

• That’s not mine to carry.

• I don’t need to prove myself to people not in the arena.

• Let them. I’ll stay true.

Leadership begins here: in how we lead ourselves.
With steadiness.
With respect.
With enough space to grow, instead of shrink.

Let them.
And keep showing up—dusty, real, and ready.

Go gently,
Mary-Anne 

The Emotional Toll of Leadership: Self-Care Strategies for Leaders

The Emotional Toll of Leadership: Self-Care Strategies for Leaders

Let’s be real—leadership is emotional. Some days, it feels like you’re carrying the weight of your team’s challenges, moods, and expectations, all while trying to keep your own emotions in check. You’ve got to be the steady one, the motivator, the problem-solver… even when you’re running on empty.

That’s emotional labour. And if you’re not careful, it can wear you down.

Why Does Leadership Feel So Emotionally Draining?

Because it is. Emotional labour is the effort we put into managing our emotions to meet the expectations of our roles. As a leader, that often looks like:

• Smiling when you’re stressed.

• Staying positive when things aren’t going well.

• Being the ‘strong one’ when your team needs support.

And while this is all part of leading well, let’s not pretend it doesn’t take a toll. The constant need to regulate your emotions—whether you’re putting on a brave face (surface acting) or genuinely trying to feel positive (deep acting)—can leave you feeling drained, detached, or even burnt out.

How to Lead Without Burning Yourself Out

The good news? You don’t have to choose between being an emotionally intelligent leader and taking care of yourself. Here are some things that have helped me (and other leaders I know) navigate this without feeling completely exhausted:

1. Be Honest About What You’re Feeling
   You don’t have to fake it all the time. Acknowledging your own emotions (even if you don’t always show them) makes a huge difference. It helps you process them instead of stuffing them down.
   

2. Set Boundaries (Seriously, Do It)
   I know, easier said than done. But you can’t be available 24/7 and still function well. Set office hours, schedule breaks, and say no when you need to. You’ll be a better leader for it.
   

3. Find Your People
   Leadership can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether it’s a mentor, a peer, or a friend outside of work, having someone to talk to who gets it can make all the difference.
   

4. Take Tiny Mental Breaks
   You don’t need an hour-long meditation session—just a few minutes to step outside, breathe deeply, or put your phone down can reset your brain and help you keep going.
   

5. Move, Sleep, Eat (the Basics Matter)
   I know you know this. But when was the last time you actually made time for a walk, got a full night’s sleep, or ate something not out of a vending machine? Your body fuels your mind—take care of it.
   

6. Let Yourself Be Human
   You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be perfect. Letting your team see you—not just the polished, always-in-control version—actually makes you a stronger leader.
   

Final Thought

Leading is emotional, no doubt about it. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of you. When you take care of yourself, you’re not just doing yourself a favour—you’re showing up better for your team, too. And honestly? You deserve that just as much as they do.

So, what’s one small thing you can do today to take care of yourself? Because you matter, too.

Arohanui,
Mary-Anne

The Future of Leadership: Prioritising Humanity in a Digital World

The Future of Leadership: Prioritising Humanity in a Digital World

This week, while having dinner at a place near where I was working, I witnessed a moment that was quietly profound—not just in its kindness, but in what it revealed about leadership. One of the kitchen staff walked out the front door, a box of food in hand, and crossed the road. His destination was a man sitting in a deck chair outside his car, which was clearly also his home. The kitchen worker crouched down, exchanged a few words, and handed over the food. There was no fuss, no need for recognition—just a simple act of compassion.

A few days later, over the weekend, I witnessed another gesture that carried the same quiet power. This time, it was someone buying an extra item of food while ordering. As they left the café, they approached a well-known local busker, a man in a wheelchair who often fills the streets with his waiata. The person stopped, smiled, and spoke kindly to him about his singing and his commitment. With a gentle hand on his shoulder, they offered the food, exchanged a few words, and walked away.

These weren’t grand gestures or headline-worthy acts. They were small, human moments that spoke volumes about compassion, connection, and most importantly, leadership. Because true leadership isn’t just about vision or strategy—it’s about actions that inspire others to care, to act, and to build a culture of kindness.

Leaders, whether they hold a title or not, are those who see the unseen, who pause long enough to acknowledge the humanity in others. These small acts of empathy demonstrate a kind of leadership that is rare in a world increasingly dominated by algorithms and automation. Artificial intelligence can process data, predict patterns, and even generate conversations, but it cannot replicate the warmth of a genuine smile or the sincerity behind a comforting touch. AI can enhance efficiency, but it can never lead with heart.

In a workplace context, these moments serve as powerful reminders of the impact leaders have when they act with empathy. A kind word to a team member struggling quietly, recognising the efforts of someone who doesn’t seek the spotlight, or simply listening without distraction—these are the leadership acts that build trust and inspire loyalty. They demonstrate a level of emotional intelligence that no machine can replicate.

As leaders, the challenge is to cultivate a culture where small acts of kindness are the norm, not the exception. To model the behaviour we wish to see, not because it’s strategic, but because it’s right. Leadership isn’t always about making big speeches or driving sweeping change. Sometimes, it’s about noticing the little things, reaching out, and showing that you care—not for show, but because you genuinely do.

So next time you see an opportunity for kindness, no matter how small, take it. Not just as a human being, but as a leader. Because leadership, at its core, is about setting a tone, creating a ripple effect, and inspiring others to do the same. In a world full of noise and automation, that might just be enough.

Arohanui,
Mary-Anne

The Human Side of Change Management: Leading People Through Transitions

The Human Side of Change Management: Leading People Through Transitions

The Human Side of Change Management: Leading People Through Transitions

If you’ve watched Ted Lasso, you’ll know it’s so much more than just a show about football. It’s really about leading people through change — and not the smooth, straightforward kind of change either. We’re talking about the messy, emotional, and often uncomfortable kind. When Ted, an American football coach who knows nothing about English football, takes over AFC Richmond, he faces a team that’s divided, sceptical, and pretty set in its ways.

Ted’s leadership style is anything but conventional. He’s not focused on tactics or stats as much as he is on building relationships and making sure his team feels understood and supported. Watching him turn things around at Richmond is a bit like getting a crash course in how to lead people through transitions — with empathy, optimism, and a whole lot of heart.

Empathy: Listening Before Leading

From the moment Ted steps into Richmond, he’s more interested in listening than lecturing. He takes time to understand what’s really going on with his players — like Roy Kent, who’s grappling with the reality of getting older, or Jamie Tartt, who’s desperate for validation. Instead of dismissing their worries, Ted leans in and listens.

It’s such a simple move, but it’s powerful. When people feel genuinely heard, they’re a lot more willing to open up to change. Many leaders, understandably focused on getting people to accept the change, can sometimes miss the opportunity to help their teams process how it feels. Taking the time to listen can make all the difference.

In a way, Ted’s approach shows that empathy isn’t just about being nice. It’s about building trust and helping people get to a place where they’re ready to move forward. Sometimes, just listening is the best way to start.

Optimism: Inspiring Hope When Things Look Rough

Ted’s optimism is one of the things that makes him such a likeable character — and also such an effective leader. Even when the team is losing badly, the fans are chanting for his resignation, and Rebecca (the club owner) is secretly trying to sabotage him, Ted keeps showing up with that relentless positivity.

Now, this isn’t about pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. Ted’s optimism is more about helping his team see that things can get better — that the struggle is worth it. It’s that “Believe” sign in the locker room, reminding everyone that, despite the setbacks, they’re still in the game.

Leaders who can inspire that kind of hope can get their teams to keep pushing forward, even when things are tough. Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of belief that the effort is leading somewhere better.

Confidence and Calm: Holding Steady in Chaos

Ted might not know a lot about football, but he never lets that shake his confidence. Even when he’s clearly out of his depth, he manages to project a calm, steady presence that reassures his team. It’s not that he has all the answers — it’s that he’s confident they can figure things out together.

That kind of steady confidence is huge during times of change. When everything feels chaotic, a leader who keeps their cool can make the whole team feel a little less panicked. It’s that whole “fake it till you make it” vibe, but with a lot more sincerity.

There’s a scene where Ted refuses to blame individual players after a tough loss. Instead of pointing fingers, he talks about what they can learn and how they can improve. That kind of calm response helps the team focus on solutions instead of spiralling into blame and frustration.

Relationships Matter: Building Connections That Last

If Ted has a secret weapon, it’s his ability to build relationships. He invests time in getting to know his players and even brings Rebecca biscuits every day to build some trust. These small gestures might seem trivial, but they’re actually a big part of why his team eventually starts to rally behind him.

Change is a lot easier to accept when it’s led by someone you trust. And trust isn’t built through big speeches or fancy strategies — it’s built through those small, everyday moments of connection. Ted shows that sometimes, leading people through change is as simple as showing up consistently and proving that you care.

Coaching, Not Commanding: Turning Followers into Leaders

One of the most impressive things Ted does is coach rather than command. He doesn’t just tell people what to do — he helps them figure things out for themselves. That approach turns passive followers into active leaders who take ownership of the change.

Take Nate, the shy kit man who’s full of ideas but too scared to speak up. Ted doesn’t just give Nate instructions; he gives him the confidence to share his strategies with the team. By the end of the season, Nate isn’t just following orders — he’s stepping up and making decisions.

That’s the real power of a coaching mindset during change. When you focus on helping people grow rather than just telling them what to do, you end up with a team that’s not only willing to adapt but also excited about where they’re heading.

Leading Change the Ted Lasso Way

What makes Ted such an effective leader isn’t a genius strategy or some ground-breaking tactic. It’s the way he makes his team feel — understood, supported, and capable of more than they realised. Change is hard, no question, but when people trust that you’ve got their back, they’re a lot more willing to take the leap.

Leading change isn’t about getting everyone to the finish line as fast as possible. It’s about making sure they want to keep playing the game, no matter what obstacles come their way.

So maybe the real lesson from Ted Lasso is that change isn’t something you manage; it’s something you lead people through — one small, genuine act of leadership at a time.

"For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field." — Ted Lasso

Go well this week

Mary-Anne :-)