How do I ‘get’ this thing called Emotional Intelligence?

Mary-Anne Murphy

It’s not often people go around trying to ‘get’ or ‘catch’ something. We take vitamins, isolate ourselves, or label our drink bottles in an effort to avoid catching something. But, this thing called Emotional Intelligence is fast becoming the thing that a lot of people want to ‘get’.

Take for example a job where although it may require physical work, it still requires communication and interaction with humans. If someone is going to a worksite, they need to be able to interact with the customer before going ahead with the job. This may include introducing themselves, asking what the issue is, listening, showing empathy, being adaptive to their needs, and straightforward when they need to be.

Whilst someone may have the qualification or experience, and know what they are doing, and how to do it, they may not have the emotional intelligence to do it in a way that gets the best customer service. 

Soft skills are THE skills. 

So how do people ‘get’ emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is a combination of nature and nurture. It is influenced by genetics but can also be developed through life experiences and practice. With a few exceptions, most individuals possess the capacity to enhance their emotional intelligence through intentional effort and learning.

Research also suggests that there is a developmental element to emotional intelligence.

Most people will improve their emotional intelligence through life experience, however, whilst a slight majority of older people are higher in EQ, it should be noted that there are many young people with high EQ scores which reinforces the idea that emotional intelligence can be learned.

I am heartened to be working in primary schools that are specifically building emotional intelligence learning into their curriculum. 

But, I also challenge those who aren’t. It is also more than just teaching students how to recognise, label and respond to their emotions, so if you are already doing mahi in that area, wonderful, but perhaps it is time to level it up. 

Where are the secondary schools and tertiary training organisations on this pathway? These are the skills for them to be future prepared. It can’t wait. Let’s talk!