The Yes That Changed Everything

I said yes before I'd thought it through.

A colleague, a friend, asked me to MC the Waikato Secondary Schools event. And before the sensible part of my brain could catch up, I'd already agreed.

Then the panic set in.

What had I done? I was the person who sat quietly in staff meetings. The one who chose her words carefully and said as little as possible. Standing up in front of a room full of people and holding the whole thing together was not something I did. It wasn't who I was.

Except apparently I'd just said I would.

I don't think she knew how terrified I was. She just asked. Straightforwardly, like it was obvious. Like she could already see me doing it. And something in that - the way she asked without hesitation, without wondering if I could handle it - made me say yes before I could talk myself out of it.

So I did it. Terrified. Probably not perfectly. But I did it.

And something shifted. Not overnight. Not dramatically. But that yes opened a door I didn't know was there. It started me on a path of public speaking that I couldn't have predicted and wouldn't have chosen on my own. Not then.

Here's what I've been thinking about since. She didn't give me confidence. She couldn't. Confidence isn't something someone else can hand you. But she gave me something just as important. She gave me an opportunity I wouldn't have given myself. And she believed I could do it before I did.

That's a kind of leadership that doesn't get talked about enough.

Because we spend a lot of time thinking about the big calls. The strategy. The decisions. The hard conversations. And they matter. But sometimes the most significant thing a leader does is notice something in someone that they can't yet see in themselves. And then ask. Simply. Without making a big deal of it. Just — I think you could do this. Will you?

Most people are waiting for permission they'd never give themselves.

And you might be the person who gives it.

Look around your team right now. Who are you not asking? Who's sitting quietly, saying little, choosing their words carefully - and capable of so much more than they're showing you?

Ask them. Don't overthink it. Just ask.

Because you might not know how terrified they are. And that's ok. Neither did she.

The Conversation

Who in your world needs someone to believe in them before they believe in themselves?

And what's stopping you from being that person for them?

Arohanui
Mary-Anne 😊