Becoming an Editor of Your Thoughts
Becoming an Editor of Your Thoughts
The other day, I was preparing to facilitate a leadership workshop when I noticed my mind racing ahead, rehearsing the agenda, anticipating questions, checking the clock. On the surface, I seemed calm; underneath, I was already in overdrive. Then a minor tech glitch appeared just before we began, and I felt that familiar surge, breath shortening, focus narrowing, the kind of moment where you wonder if you are leading a workshop or starring in a live demonstration of the stress response.
These moments can catch any of us off guard. That is where the idea of the window of tolerance comes in handy. Coined by psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, it describes the zone where we feel grounded and able to manage what is happening around us. Inside that window, we can think clearly, listen deeply, and respond with care. Step outside it, and our nervous system takes over, pulling us into reactivity, overwhelm, or shutdown (also known as pretending to check your notes while actually rebooting your soul).
When our thoughts start to spiral, we can slip out of that window without realising it. And because leadership is relational, our state tends to ripple through the room faster than the Wi Fi. Neuroscience tells us that when stress hijacks our system, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and problem solving, temporarily goes offline. In other words, the calm, capable version of ourselves quietly leaves the building.
Leadership researcher Ryan Gottfredson points out that great leaders are not immune to emotional triggers, they just find their way back to balance faster. They have learned to spot the drift and gently steer themselves home before things spiral.
Author Nataly Kogan calls this emotional fitness, the ability to become an editor of your thoughts rather than a passenger to them. When those familiar inner scripts start rolling, “I cannot do this,” “I am behind,” or “I need caffeine and a miracle,” we can pause and ask, Is this true? Is it helpful? Does it move me closer to the leader I want to be? That small pause creates space to choose a wiser response instead of reacting on autopilot.
Even the simple act of naming what is happening, I feel anxious, I feel stretched, I feel like hiding under my desk for five minutes, helps settle the nervous system and bring the thinking brain back online. Over time, these micro edits strengthen our ability to stay within our window of tolerance and lead with clarity, humour, and heart.
In the end, becoming an editor of your thoughts is not about deleting the messy drafts. It is about noticing what is on the page, making small, intentional edits, and choosing words and responses that move you closer to the kind of leader you want to be.
Reflection Prompts
What thought loop has been running most loudly for me this week?
What emotion sits underneath that thought, and what happens when I simply name it?
If I could rewrite my mental script today, what thought would I choose to highlight instead?
Stay Steady,
Mary-Anne