The Emotional Toll of Leadership: Self-Care Strategies for Leaders

The Emotional Toll of Leadership: Self-Care Strategies for Leaders

Let’s be real—leadership is emotional. Some days, it feels like you’re carrying the weight of your team’s challenges, moods, and expectations, all while trying to keep your own emotions in check. You’ve got to be the steady one, the motivator, the problem-solver… even when you’re running on empty.

That’s emotional labour. And if you’re not careful, it can wear you down.

Why Does Leadership Feel So Emotionally Draining?

Because it is. Emotional labour is the effort we put into managing our emotions to meet the expectations of our roles. As a leader, that often looks like:

• Smiling when you’re stressed.

• Staying positive when things aren’t going well.

• Being the ‘strong one’ when your team needs support.

And while this is all part of leading well, let’s not pretend it doesn’t take a toll. The constant need to regulate your emotions—whether you’re putting on a brave face (surface acting) or genuinely trying to feel positive (deep acting)—can leave you feeling drained, detached, or even burnt out.

How to Lead Without Burning Yourself Out

The good news? You don’t have to choose between being an emotionally intelligent leader and taking care of yourself. Here are some things that have helped me (and other leaders I know) navigate this without feeling completely exhausted:

1. Be Honest About What You’re Feeling
   You don’t have to fake it all the time. Acknowledging your own emotions (even if you don’t always show them) makes a huge difference. It helps you process them instead of stuffing them down.
   

2. Set Boundaries (Seriously, Do It)
   I know, easier said than done. But you can’t be available 24/7 and still function well. Set office hours, schedule breaks, and say no when you need to. You’ll be a better leader for it.
   

3. Find Your People
   Leadership can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether it’s a mentor, a peer, or a friend outside of work, having someone to talk to who gets it can make all the difference.
   

4. Take Tiny Mental Breaks
   You don’t need an hour-long meditation session—just a few minutes to step outside, breathe deeply, or put your phone down can reset your brain and help you keep going.
   

5. Move, Sleep, Eat (the Basics Matter)
   I know you know this. But when was the last time you actually made time for a walk, got a full night’s sleep, or ate something not out of a vending machine? Your body fuels your mind—take care of it.
   

6. Let Yourself Be Human
   You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be perfect. Letting your team see you—not just the polished, always-in-control version—actually makes you a stronger leader.
   

Final Thought

Leading is emotional, no doubt about it. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of you. When you take care of yourself, you’re not just doing yourself a favour—you’re showing up better for your team, too. And honestly? You deserve that just as much as they do.

So, what’s one small thing you can do today to take care of yourself? Because you matter, too.

Arohanui,
Mary-Anne