When Trust Starts to Feel One-Sided — Holding Care and Accountability Together

When Trust Starts to Feel One-Sided — Holding Care and Accountability Together

Trust is like oxygen — invisible, vital, and easy to take for granted until it’s gone. As leaders, we often go the extra mile to create high-trust cultures. We offer grace, space, and flexibility. But what happens when that generosity starts to be taken for granted?

There’s a tipping point where trust starts to feel more like entitlement. Deadlines slip. Standards soften. And resentment — that quiet saboteur — starts to build.

This isn’t a moment for harshness, but for honesty. Clarity and care aren’t opposites — they’re partners. When expectations are clear, follow-through can thrive. Without them, even well-meaning people lose their way.

Brené Brown’s work on trust and boundaries reminds us that clear is kind — and that ambiguity creates disconnection. Her research highlights that trust isn’t built in grand gestures, but in micro-moments of integrity, reliability, and accountability. When we uphold expectations, we uphold dignity.

The kindest move is often a recalibration. “I’ve noticed a few things slipping — what’s going on?” opens the door for kōrero. So does reflecting on the impact, not just the intent. Flexibility only works when it’s balanced with responsibility.

Leadership Check-in:
What expectation or boundary could you re-clarify this week to reset the balance of trust and accountability?

Go with courage,
Mary-Anne