What’s in a Word?
What’s in a word?
Finding My Equilibrium: A Journey of Balance
Lately, I’ve been thinking about balance—not the kind you find on a tightrope, but the deeper kind that sustains us. It’s the balance between soft and strong, between being and doing, between inhaling the world’s offerings and exhaling what I have to give. It’s a dance we’re all in, whether we realise it or not.
For me, this journey towards equilibrium started with a simple question: How much is enough? Enough work, enough rest, enough joy. The truth was, I had lost that knowing. I’d been so focused on doing—meeting deadlines, supporting others, ticking off to-do lists—that I hadn’t paused to breathe deeply, let alone ask if my life felt balanced.
It connects with Te Whare Tapa Whā, a model of well-being created by the amazing Mason Durie. Like a whare (house), our lives are built on four pillars: taha tinana (physical well-being), taha wairua (spiritual well-being), taha whānau (family and social well-being), and taha hinengaro (mental and emotional well-being). When one pillar is weak or neglected, the whole structure can feel unsteady. My whare wasn’t collapsing, but it wasn’t solid either.
One Sunday afternoon, I decided to begin the journey of recalibration. I pulled out my notebook and divided the page into two columns: “Mahi” (work) and “Rest”. Under mahi, I listed the tasks I knew were necessary but draining. Under rest, I jotted down what recharged me—reading, painting, walking by the sea. The mahi column was longer, but seeing them side by side reminded me I had choices.
That week, I began to weave in rest more deliberately. After an intense meeting, I took five minutes to just breathe and look at the sky. On a busy Wednesday evening, I set aside time to journal, not because I had to, but because it felt good. These weren’t grand gestures, but they were enough to feel the shift.
I realised that equilibrium isn’t a perfect balance—it’s a constant practice. It’s noticing when you’ve leaned too far into one side and gently pulling yourself back. It’s recognising that being and doing aren’t opposites; they’re partners in a life well-lived.
Some days, I still get it wrong. The mahi piles up, and rest feels like a luxury I can’t afford. But now, I’m quicker to pause, breathe, and ask myself: What does my whare need right now?
Equilibrium isn’t about doing less; it’s about living more intentionally. It’s about embracing both the inhale and the exhale, the soft and the strong, the mahi and the rest.
It’s a journey, and like all journeys, it begins with a single step. For me, that step was asking, How much is enough? Maybe it’s time you asked too.
Arohanui,
Mary-Anne
My Joy Journey
My word for 2024 was Joy.
Joy in my mahi, joy in my life, and joyful relationships.
As we know, life throws us lessons that can feel less than joyful at times, while also serving up the most joyful moments imaginable. It’s the rollercoaster of life that we hold onto, and as much as we may try to control the ups and downs, the track is already set. It’s how we ride it that makes the difference to the outcome.
In my mahi, I have walked alongside incredible people who inspire me every day to be a better version of both my professional and personal self so that I can bring my best self to them and their people. I have also navigated extremes in governmental policies around funding allocations, which have impacted my business—but not my resolve. I remain intent on my purpose: supporting people to recognise and live into their life’s purpose. This fills my heart with joy. Their successes, their connection to self and others, and their growth light a fire in my soul, reminding me that I am walking the right path.
Amidst all of this, I have travelled the path of self-doubt—perhaps even more than usual this year. In my mid-50s, I have often felt invisible, overlooked, out of touch, and, at times, irrelevant. I’ve had to dig deep to reaffirm my sense of self, place, and space in the world and in my mahi. This is another pathway of womanhood—one we don’t often talk about, but one that I know affects many of us wāhine toa.
Personally, 2024 has been a similar journey. The changing seasons of life have led me to reassess who gets to be in my precious life and which relationships I wish to nourish and nurture. This has been a grieving cycle in itself, but one that has left me with absolute clarity about my worth, my boundaries, and who I wish to give my time and love to.
And so, 2025 is now here.
I have taken time out in Thailand to recalibrate, reconnect, and deepen my connections with myself and those close to me.
I step into this year firmly and intentionally. I step with a full and open heart.
I step with a clear intent to be and bring my best self.
I also move forward with an even deeper understanding of who I am.
So, my two words for 2025 are Balance and Expansion.
I’ll tell you more about those in my next post.
What are your learnings and gratitude’s from 2024? I’d love to hear.
Big aroha,
MA. xo
Click here for information on our fabulous three night Retreat in Raglan
Click here to check out our newest 2025 offerings - Momentum Meet-Ups!
Reflecting on the Year: Celebrating Success, Learning, and Growth
Reflecting on the Year: Celebrating Success, Learning, and Growth
As the year draws to a close, I invite you to take a moment with me to pause, breathe, and reflect on all you’ve experienced and achieved. This isn’t about ticking boxes or chasing perfection—it’s about honouring your unique journey. Each step you’ve taken, no matter how small, has brought you to this moment, and that deserves recognition.
Celebrating Success
Let’s start with the wins. Every achievement, big or small, is worth celebrating. Maybe it was smashing a personal goal, navigating a tricky situation, or simply showing up on tough days.
What are your proudest moments from this year?
When did you surprise yourself with what you could do?
Who or what supported you along the way? How can you show your gratitude?
Take a moment to savour these successes. Whether it’s a quiet smile or a joyful cheer, celebrate the effort and resilience it took to get there.
Learning from Experiences
This year, like every year, probably came with its fair share of challenges. Those tough moments, though not always welcome, can be incredible teachers.
What were the moments that pushed you outside your comfort zone?
What did you learn about yourself or the world around you?
How have those lessons helped you grow or shift your perspective?
Remember, every stumble and misstep is part of the journey. Be gentle with yourself as you reflect—it’s in these moments that we often find the most valuable growth.
Recognising Personal Growth
Now, let’s focus on how you’ve changed and evolved. Growth isn’t always obvious in the day-to-day, but when you look back, it’s amazing to see how far you’ve come.
How are you different now than you were at the start of the year?
What new skills, habits, or mindsets have you developed?
What are you most proud of about yourself this year?
This is your chance to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. Growth is a sign of your adaptability, strength, and determination to keep moving forward.
Looking Ahead
As you reflect, you’re also setting the stage for the year to come. The lessons you’ve learned and the strengths you’ve discovered can guide you as you step into the future.
What do you want to carry forward into next year?
What can you let go of to create space for new opportunities?
What dreams or goals are calling to you for the months ahead?
This isn’t about pressure or resolutions—it’s about planting seeds for the life you want to create. Trust that you already have everything you need to grow into the person you’re becoming.
Take a moment to appreciate all you’ve been through this year, the highs and the lows, the big wins and the quiet triumphs. You’ve done so well. Here’s to the year ahead—may it be full of hope, growth, and joy.
I will ‘see’ you in 2025!
Arohanui,
Mary-Anne
Feeling Good from Doing Good
It’s that time of year again—a season that often highlights the gap between those who have and those who don’t. The holidays, with their materialism and high expectations, can unintentionally shine a light on what’s missing for many. For some, there will be no Christmas presents to fill the stockings or festive feasts to fill their bellies.
Yet, it’s also a season when businesses and organisations turn their focus outward, providing food, gifts, and companionship to those in need. One year, a workplace I was part of organised a visit to deliver food to an animal shelter and presents to children at a local cancer hospital. It was an unforgettable experience, leaving both the givers and receivers with full hearts.
But as meaningful as this was, I couldn’t help but wonder—why isn’t this part of our regular routine? What if doing good became an authentic, everyday practice rather than a once-a-year gesture? What if we made a conscious effort to look beyond ourselves more often?
In giving, we also receive. Could this be a way to build a happier, healthier society?
This week, I want to share some fascinating insights from positive psychology about the benefits of giving. Perhaps they’ll inspire you to reflect on your own life, your family, and your workplaces. How might you create more opportunities to give your time, energy, and strengths so others can flourish?
Psychological Benefits
Increased Happiness and Life Satisfaction
A study by Lyubomirsky et al. (2005) found that performing five acts of kindness weekly led to a 42% increase in happiness compared to a control group.
Reduced Depression
Research by Post (2005) showed that helping others significantly reduces depression and boosts emotional well-being, with 76% of participants reporting a "helper’s high."
Boosted Resilience
According to the 2010 Gallup World Poll, volunteering just two hours per week makes people 64% more likely to describe their lives as “thriving.”
Physical Health Benefits
Improved Health Outcomes
A meta-analysis by Jenkinson et al. (2013) linked volunteering to lower blood pressure and a 20% lower mortality rate among regular volunteers.
Longevity
Research in Health Psychology revealed a 30% reduction in mortality rates for people who consistently provide social support to others.
Mechanisms of Benefit
Release of Oxytocin
Acts of kindness can boost oxytocin levels by 47%, according to research from the University of British Columbia. This hormone promotes bonding and reduces stress.
Reduced Stress
A study published in Psychosomatic Medicine found that altruistic behaviour lowers cortisol levels by 23%, helping to relieve stress.
So, as you move through this season, I encourage you to explore ways to weave giving into the fabric of your daily life. Imagine the ripple effect if we all gave a little more of ourselves—not just at Christmas, but all year round.
Go with aroha this week
Mary-Anne
What’s your Legacy?
Have you ever stopped to think about the legacy you’ll leave behind? I mean really think about it—not just the targets hit or projects delivered, but the way people will remember you. As leaders, we get so caught up in the day-to-day grind that we rarely take a moment to zoom out and ask, What difference am I making?
James Kerr, in his brilliant book Legacy, shares lessons from the All Blacks. He writes, “Success is no longer about lifting trophies; it’s about your contribution, your story, and leaving the jersey in a better place.” For the All Blacks, the jersey represents something bigger than the individual—a legacy of stewardship and responsibility. While most of us don’t wear jerseys to work, we do hold the same responsibility for our teams, our organisations, and even our communities.
So, what will you leave behind?
Leadership: It’s Bigger Than You
If you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t think about your legacy when you first stepped into a leadership role. You were likely too focused on figuring out what to do, let alone how you’d be remembered! But the longer I’ve been in leadership, the more I’ve realised that it’s not about how much you achieve; it’s about how you serve.
Take Steven Adams, our Kiwi NBA star, for example. He’s not the flashiest player on the court, but he’s known for doing the hard, unglamorous work that makes his team better. In his own words: “It’s not about being the star; it’s about doing what needs to be done for the team to succeed.” Whether he’s setting screens, grabbing rebounds, or guiding younger players, Steven lives the idea that leadership is about lifting others. That’s the kind of legacy that matters.
What Legacy Are You Building?
Here’s the thing—your legacy isn’t something you create at the end of your career. It’s in the small, everyday choices you make right now. Are you the kind of leader who listens when someone’s struggling? Do you take time to develop others, even when your plate is full? Are you building systems and cultures that will thrive long after you’ve moved on?
Ruby Tui, one of my absolute favourites from the Black Ferns, talks about leadership in a way that really hits home for me. In her memoir Straight Up, she says, “True leadership is the opposite of individualism, the opposite of one person standing above the rest. It’s an encompassing, inclusive thing. I never liked the top-down way of leading.”
Ruby reminds us that leadership isn’t about being in charge—it’s about taking care of the people you lead. It’s about creating spaces where everyone feels valued and empowered to succeed. That’s what real legacy looks like.
Humility in Action: “Sweep the Sheds”
One of the most profound lessons from Kerr’s Legacy is the All Blacks’ tradition of “sweeping the sheds.” After every game, the senior players clean the locker room. They don’t do it because they have to—they do it because they want to. It’s a symbol of humility and service.
Think about it—how often do we, as leaders, roll up our sleeves and do the unglamorous work? When we do, we’re sending a clear message: no one is above the team, and success is built on small acts of commitment and care.
A Legacy of Contribution
I’ve been reflecting on what kind of legacy I want to leave as a leadership coach and trainer. For me, it’s about values like kindness, growth, and empowerment. I want people to say, “She made us better, not just in the work we did, but in how we felt about ourselves.”
What about you?
What stories will people tell about you when you’re no longer in the room?
What values are you embedding in your team?
Are you empowering others to take the lead, or are you trying to do it all yourself?
Planting Trees You’ll Never See
One of the most beautiful lines in Legacy is this: “Be a good ancestor. Plant trees you’ll never see.” That’s what leadership is all about—sowing seeds of growth and resilience that will thrive long after you’ve moved on.
So, let’s make it practical. Here are three things you can do today to start shaping your legacy:
Reflect: Take 15 minutes to write down how you want to be remembered as a leader. Be brutally honest—are your actions aligning with that vision?
Empower: Find one person in your team who has potential. How can you help them grow? Maybe it’s a conversation, some coaching, or just giving them space to lead.
Simplify: Look for the “sheds” you can sweep in your leadership. What small, humble act can you do today to show your team you’re in this together?
So, What’s Your Legacy?
The truth is, we’re all leaving a legacy, whether we’re intentional about it or not. The question isn’t if—it’s what kind. So, what will your legacy be?
Let’s start building it, one small action at a time.
Go well this week
Mary-Anne
Space for 2025 is filling. Check out our 2025 programmes:
Empowered Students
Leadership Retreat
Next year there is no RAPLD funding.
Talk to us about applying for grant funding to support your mahi.
Contact Mary-Anne to discuss your needs.