Beating the Blame-Game at work
Beating the Blame-Game at work
Blame is like a quicksand trap in the workplace—it feels easier to point fingers than to take responsibility, but in the long run, it drags everyone down. Whether it’s blaming leadership for unclear direction, colleagues for dropping the ball, or even external factors like budget cuts, the blame game keeps teams stuck in cycles of frustration and disengagement.
If we want to create thriving, accountable workplaces, we need to step away from blame and into curiosity, courage, and personal responsibility. This isn’t just about being ‘nice’—it’s about being effective. As Brené Brown says, “Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain.” It gives us a temporary sense of relief but does nothing to solve the actual problem. Cy Wakeman takes it further, arguing that blame and drama rob workplaces of productivity and engagement. She calls it ‘emotional waste’—and let’s be honest, none of us need more of that.
So how do we stop the blame game and start getting results?
1. Own Your Part
It’s tempting to think the problem is out there—bad leadership, slow colleagues, or unfair policies. But Cy Wakeman challenges us to ask: What can I do to add value, regardless of the circumstances? Instead of waiting for others to change, focus on what you can influence. This shift from ‘victim’ to ‘problem solver’ boosts your confidence and effectiveness.
A practical way to start? Try reframing frustrations into action-oriented questions:
Instead of “Why didn’t they give us more notice?” → “What can I do to get clarity earlier next time?”
Instead of “Why is leadership always out of touch?” → “What feedback could I offer that might help bridge the gap?”
2. Get Curious, Not Defensive
Blame thrives when we assume we already know who’s at fault. But Brené Brown reminds us that the antidote to blame is curiosity. Next time frustration bubbles up, pause and ask:
What else might be going on here?
What’s my role in this?
What conversation needs to happen?
By replacing blame with curiosity, we open up space for understanding and problem-solving instead of fuelling workplace drama.
3. Call It When You See It
Blame can become a workplace habit. If you notice a ‘blame storm’ starting, try a gentle but firm redirection:
“I hear the frustration—how can we move forward?”
“What’s the best way to solve this together?”
“Let’s focus on what we can control.”
When leaders model this, it sets the tone for a blame-free culture. Instead of pointing fingers, the team learns to pivot toward solutions.
4. Build Psychological Safety
Blame often comes from fear—fear of failure, judgment, or not being good enough. Brené Brown’s research shows that psychological safety (the belief that you can take risks and be vulnerable without punishment) is essential for high-performing teams. Creating a culture where mistakes are seen as learning opportunities, not ammunition, builds trust and accountability.
The Bottom Line
The blame game wastes time, energy, and goodwill. By shifting from blame to ownership, curiosity, and problem-solving, we create workplaces where people feel empowered, not stuck. Next time frustration hits, pause. Ask yourself: Am I adding to the problem or the solution? That small shift can change everything.
Arohanui,
Mary-Anne