Turning Resistance into Reflection - How to coach when people push back

Turning Resistance into Reflection
How to coach when people push back

Every leader’s been there.
You offer support, a new idea, a shift worth exploring…
…and get folded arms, “I’ve tried that,” or quiet nods with no follow-through.

It’s easy to get discouraged—or double down, hoping more explanation will help.
But what if resistance isn’t defiance?
What if it’s data?

Behind most pushback is something deeper:
→ A value that feels threatened
→ A past experience still lingering
→ A belief about how things should be
→ Or fear—of failure, exposure, or not being enough

When we meet resistance with curiosity, not control, we invite reflection.
And that’s where growth begins.

What helps in the moment:

• Listen beneath the surface
  “This won’t work” often means “I’m not sure I can.”
  Try:
  → “Can you tell me more about that?”
  → “What’s your past experience been like?”
  → “What might make this feel doable?”
  
  

• Normalise discomfort
  Change is messy. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean failing.
  → “It’s okay to wobble. Let’s find one small step together.”
  
  

• Look for the wisdom in the resistance
  Pushback often protects something important—like identity, autonomy, or care.
  Can we honour that, while gently inviting a shift?
  
  

• Shift from telling to teaming
  Not “Here’s what you should do,” but:
  → “What could this look like together?”
  → “How might we adapt this for your space?”
  
  

• Celebrate what’s already working
  Even small wins matter. Acknowledge them.
  Sometimes the courage to try starts with being seen.

The heart of it:

Pushback doesn’t mean they won’t.
It just means they’re not ready yet.
And our job isn’t to force readiness—it’s to hold space for it.

To coach with empathy.
To trust the slow work of change.
And to believe that resistance, with time and care, can become reflection.

Let’s keep learning, together.
That’s where the real magic lives.

Go well this week,
MA :-)