How social-emotional intelligence can help your career success
Emotionally intelligent people are by nature flexible, adaptable and resilient. They are inspiring as leaders with a high level of self-awareness. Their emotional intelligence (EI) skills help them to effectively balance compassion and empathy, with the ability to assertively set and communicate healthy boundaries.
EI is now not only considered a critical leadership skill set, but it is also a highly sought-after one. No matter what your career goals are, investing and developing a social-emotional intelligence toolkit have become imperative for every level of career success.
Mary-Anne Murphy
Emotionally intelligent people are by nature flexible, adaptable and resilient. They are inspiring as leaders with a high level of self-awareness. Their emotional intelligence (EI) skills help them to effectively balance compassion and empathy, with the ability to assertively set and communicate healthy boundaries.
EI is now not only considered a critical leadership skill set, but it is also a highly sought-after one. No matter what your career goals are, investing and developing a social-emotional intelligence toolkit have become imperative for every level of career success.
“It all starts with self-awareness. It’s not all about you, but it all begins with you. As a leader, if you’re not in a good place, not stable and not clear about what’s unique about you, then nothing’s going to flow from that.” Jeremy Darroch, Group CEO Sky.
Emotional Capital
Emotional intelligence is not a personality trait, but rather a set of emotional competencies that are developed to enhance leadership, nurture relationships and confident social skills.
Every personal interaction you have, and every decision you and your business make, is likely to be built on emotion. RocheMartin, Inspired Emotional Intelligence
Think of emotional capital as a type of skills bank. By developing these skills, you are investing in your own emotional capital bank. When you need to access these skills you can use them to transact with. Whether you are leading your team to success, getting buy-in from stakeholders or nurturing loyal relationships.
So if emotional capital was currency, have you thought about how you are spending it?
Optimism as a Strategy
People with high emotional intelligence skills are inherently optimists.
Optimists frame issues differently, they see opportunities and can adapt quickly to changing circumstances and environments. They strategically access their emotional capital, drawing on strong relationships with teams they’ve built and nurtured.
A great example of how optimists leverage their framework was during the global pandemic. They were the ones who identified silver linings and mobilised a response that would not only see their organisation survive but outperform their competitors in the end.
Empathy vs Sympathy
One of the biggest attributes of EI is empathy. Empathy requires a very deep understanding of what the other person is going through on an emotional level. While sympathy is relatable more on an intellectual level. While we can sympathise with another person's lived experience, sympathy gives us no real emotional understanding of it.
Empathy requires us to put ourselves in another person's shoes and dig deep into the emotional experience they are having.
This is done through things like being an active open-minded listener who can respond without bias in a validating and deeply genuine way.
EI competency can be learned, developed nurtured and used to improve your relationships with others, strengthen networks, broaden perspectives and ultimately clear the pathway to career success.
Do you want to know more about how to access the EI toolkit for yourself or your team? Get in touch with us, we would love to hear from you.
Work with Us
Momentum Learning has supported Leaders, Teams, Teachers, Rangatahi and their Whānau to develop their social and emotional intelligence since 2020. Talk to us about accessing this essential curriculum methodology, through Regionally Allocated PLD and other funding pathways.
Let’s work together.
The Impact of Social-Emotional Intelligence on Adult Relationships
Relationships are not easy. As people, we learn how to navigate relationships using skills we gathered from our own lived experiences and childhood examples. Which can be part of the problem.
Making and keeping friends, being in healthy romantic relationships and being able to work well with a wide range of people are all skills that we need in adulthood. However many adults have never been actively taught any of these skills.
Luckily there are options for helping adults improve the quality of their interpersonal skills. This is where social-emotional learning (SEL) comes in.
Mary-Anne Murphy
Relationships are not easy. As people, we learn how to navigate relationships using skills we gathered from our own lived experiences and childhood examples. Which can be part of the problem.
Making and keeping friends, being in healthy romantic relationships and being able to work well with a wide range of people are all skills that we need in adulthood. However many adults have never been actively taught any of these skills.
Luckily there are options for helping adults improve the quality of their interpersonal skills. This is where social-emotional learning (SEL) comes in.
SEL is a powerful skill set that can help us be more confident and competent in relationships with others and can be developed at any stage of life.
They are the tools that can help people with things like having difficult conversations, showing empathy while maintaining boundaries and building meaningful connections.
Social and Relationship Skills
People in many ways are just like plants. And relationships are like gardens. Both flourish when they are nurtured, cared for and maintained.
Plants not only need sunshine, water and soil packed with nutrients to thrive, but they also need expertly skilled gardeners. To use their skills and knowledge to keep pests and diseases away, checking in regularly, removing weeds, cutting back branches to let the light in and knowing which beneficial plants will bring the pollinators in.
Good relationships with others are built in similar ways but in the form of skilled communication, reflective listening, conflict resolution and empathy. All of which are elements of a social-emotional learning toolkit.
Emotional intelligence in adulthood
The ability to recognise, regulate and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of others is a critical element of every relationship - personal or professional.
Whether you are trying to get buy-in from a stakeholder, sell a retail product, get the boss to sign off on a project, support your partner in leaving a toxic job or just get your teenager to unpack the dishwasher, developing a strong set of relationship skills will help you understand what others are going through, while driving a win-win outcome for everyone involved.
At the heart of it all, in every relationship, people just want to be seen, acknowledged and understood.
Characteristics of Emotionally Intelligent People
So what characteristics make someone emotionally intelligent?
In a nutshell, they are good communicators and excellent listeners with a strong sense of self-awareness who are good at motivating themselves to set and achieve goals.
They effectively self-regulate their emotions with the ability to set and assertively apply boundaries while showing empathy. They embrace change, are curious about life, learning and people and are open to receiving feedback.
Social-emotional intelligence empowers people to build, nurture and maintain strong, positive relationships in all aspects of their lives - at work, in friendships, with family and in romantic relationships.
Embracing Social-Emotional Learning
Nobody is born knowing how to confidently have and navigate the complexities of relationships. It is a long-term learning journey that we develop along the way.
Here is how applying social-emotional learning (SEL) skills can help in real-life relationship scenarios.
Setting a boundary with a team member who always submits work late and incomplete, putting the rest of the team under pressure
Communicating your feelings to a defensive friend who repeatedly takes advantage of your kindness
Showing kindness and empathy without letting others walk all over you
Responding to an action or event without personalising someone else's behaviour
Creating a space where you welcome your team to challenge you and share their ideas.
The relationships we are part of and the quality of them underpin the quality of our lives. Understanding how to use social intelligence to improve relationships is a set of skills that can be learned by anyone.
Want to know more about accessing this toolkit for yourself or someone else? Get in touch with us. We would love to hear from you.
"No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship." James Comer
Work with Us
Momentum Learning has been supporting Leaders, Teams, Teachers, Rangatahi and their Whānau to develop their social and emotional intelligence since 2020. Talk to us about exploring this for your organisation.
Let’s work together.
Why Social-emotional learning should be at the Heart of Your School Curriculum
School classrooms have become very complex environments. And that’s without referring to challenges like funding, curriculum changes and managing different learning styles.
Screen time, social media, and long hours of gaming are eroding things like basic social skills, the ability to make eye contact and build and maintain friendships. Anxiety levels are high, self-esteem levels are low and those are just the ones that make it to class.
Leaving educators trying to balance many complicated levels of sensitive and diverse needs.
The bottom line is, that in terms of essential social intelligence skills, students just don’t have what they need.
So how can we help them?
Mary-Anne Murphy
While every child has the capacity for resilience and coping with the challenges of life later on, wouldn’t it be better if we planted and nurtured an oak tree - stable, strong and self-reliant, rather than raising a phoenix who was forced to rise out of the ashes on their own?
School classrooms have become very complex environments. And that’s without referring to challenges like funding, curriculum changes and managing different learning styles.
Screen time, social media, and long hours of gaming are eroding things like basic social skills, the ability to make eye contact and build and maintain friendships. Anxiety levels are high, self-esteem levels are low and those are just the ones that make it to class.
Leaving educators trying to balance many complicated levels of sensitive and diverse needs.
The bottom line is, that in terms of essential social intelligence skills, students just don’t have what they need.
So how can we help them?
By incorporating social-emotional learning skills into the classroom and providing them with opportunities to practice using the toolkits they have been given.
What is Social-emotional Learning?
Social-emotional learning or SEL, is an increasingly essential skills development concept, that helps school children to become well-rounded human beings.
It’s the framework through which students can develop the critical life skills they need so that they can exit school with an academic education and the confidence to navigate life beyond the classroom.
Truancy, poor grades, class disruptions and emotional outbursts are just some of the issues that students who lack these skills have now. When they leave school, they won’t be set up for life, they will be set up to struggle.
Social-emotional skills
What do students really need in life beyond an education? Among other things, they need to know how to advocate for themselves, set boundaries and have the confidence to engage with a wide range of people.
Otherwise, you end up with an adult who is too scared, shy or overwhelmed to handle basic life admin things like returning a faulty product to a store or dealing with service providers.
This makes things like asking for a raise, negotiating a contract or resolving a conflict at work borderline impossible.
But what if kids could leave school with the foundations of these skills plus the confidence to use them?
It would be a game changer, that could recalibrate the course of their entire adult lives.
Why SEL Matters
Anxious kids who lack confidence and struggle to communicate their needs could have high stress levels and not be doing well academically.
SEL equips students to have a better understanding of their emotions and well-being and provides them with tools and skill sets to help them develop strong social awareness and communication skills.
Classrooms that incorporate SEL learning create vibrant, safe, inclusive places where being different is not only respected and celebrated, it is cherished.
It has the potential to transform learning experiences and empower students to realise their highest potential.
Imagine a way we could help our kids make good decisions, thrive in good friendships and have the courage to try new things.
Bringing SEL into the classroom makes all of these things possible.
Dr Martyn Newman’s ten identified competencies for emotional intelligence. RocheMartin.
“The research is clear: emotions determine whether academic content will be processed deeply and remembered. Linking emotion to learning ensures that students find classroom instruction relevant.” Marc Brackett, Permission to Feel
Work with Us
Momentum Learning has been supporting Leaders, Teams, Teachers, Rangatahi and their Whānau to develop their social and emotional intelligence since 2020. Talk to us about exploring this for your organisation.
Let’s work together.
Kotahitanga: Unity
I have worked with the most incredible people. Prior to our days together we have planned, discussed, shared and collaborated. There are hours of mahi that go into preparing a day that will guide their teams towards exploring and applying the intended learning. These days do not happen in an ad hoc way. They are personalised, and crafted to suit their unique context.
Mary-Anne Murphy
I sit writing this post after a few weeks back into the work year. My heart is full of gratitude.
Over the past weeks, I have worked with the most incredible people. Prior to our days together we have planned, discussed, shared and collaborated. There are hours of mahi that go into preparing a day that will guide their teams towards exploring and applying the intended learning. These days do not happen in an ad hoc way. They are personalised, and crafted to suit their unique context.
And then the day arrives. I am often greeted and shown manaakitanga with genuine feeling. I automatically feel comfortable, at home.
The day begins with karakia to open the space for our kaupapa and to call upon our forebears to guide us through our journey, closely followed by a waiata that unifies our voices and sends them to the heavens for all to hear, so that they might honour our journey with their wisdom. We are respectful.
Whakawhanaungatanga is closely followed, where we dedicate time to connecting, human to human, whakapapa to whakapapa, heart to heart. We are connected.
The path is open, and the learning is ready to proceed.
Throughout the learning that has been carefully crafted, there is time for group work, partner sharing, individual reflection, hands-on mahi and a variety of modalities to enhance the learning and honour the different ways we learn. And most of all, there is humour, belly laughs, giggles and wide-as smiles. We are present.
There are times of group reflection, where we honour the learning we have received, and share with courage the areas we would like to lean into. As this occurs, nods and affirmations can be heard as people support each other's learnings, and show them that they are not alone. We are vulnerable.
Kai is blessed. Honour and thanks are given to those who prepared it. There is a reverence towards how our kai is prepared, presented and partaken. It is also everyone's responsibility to clean up afterwards. We are one.
And at the end of the day, we reflect on our learning, placing these and our next steps at the altar of those whose wisdom and shoulders we have stood so that we might see new horizons. We are grateful.
We close with a karakia, to show our gratitude and set us safely on our way
And this to me is learning. It is the collaborative creation of a space where magic happens. It is where we each bring our ancestral and present knowledge and skills to co-create a new possibility that is grounded in our shared values.
I am utterly grateful to those who have taught me. Nowhere else in this world would I have grown into this kaupapa.
And so, as Waitangi Day is with us, I encourage you to lean into unity. Kotahitanga is our way forward. It takes us all.
What's in a word?
Each year people set themselves goals. To get fitter, spend more time with family and friends, get to that next level at work, grow their own veggies - the list is limitless.
James Clear says “Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress”, and so I have set this intention as the screensaver on my phone and laptop. It is also present as a card in my house. I keep it in front of me so it remains front of mind. It’s like a lens through which I see and operate with the world.
Each year people set themselves goals. To get fitter, spend more time with family and friends, get to that next level at work, grow their own veggies - the list is limitless.
I tend to, however, choose the path of setting an intention for the year. This intention is not a destination, it is more like a quality that I wish to lean into.
It is an intention that permeates my whole world and is ever present in my mind as True North.
A 2022 article in Time magazine by psychologists Jay Van Bavel And Dominic Packer states that “… by some estimates, as many as 80% of people fail to keep their New Year's resolutions by February. Only 8% of people stick with them the entire year”.
James Clear says “Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress”, and so I have set this intention as the screensaver on my phone and laptop. It is also present as a card in my house. I keep it in front of me so it remains front of mind. It’s like a lens through which I see and operate with the world.
My word for 2024 is Joy.
Incorporating joy into your daily life isn't just about surface-level delights; it's about creating a wellspring from deep within you. Not only will it build your own well-being, but the ripple effect will impact positively on those around you.
As I journey through 2024, I will ask myself the question “What would Joy do, think, say, feel or be?”. It is the touchstone I will continue to come back to throughout 2024.
Perhaps this idea is something you too would like to take up. If so, what quality would you like to lean into this year?
Mary-Anne Murphy