How screen time is eroding your child's emotional intelligence
Mary-Anne Murphy
It’s become normal to be in a family restaurant and see the entire family - baby included - locked onto their screens. Very different to what it might have looked like a few years ago.
Recently, I sat in a restaurant and watched a family next to me not say a word to each other the entire time they were there. Each person locked in their own world through a screen. The parents were on their phones and the younger kids were on iPads. No one put their screens down, even after their meal arrived.
From my perspective, I found that sad, but the depth of that scene has deeper-reaching implications for everyone, particularly the children who are in their formative social-emotional years.
Because you can be almost guaranteed, that if that is what it looks like when the family is out together, that is most likely what it is like at home.
Children are in a critical foundational phase of their lives.
This is when they learn all kinds of things like how to read and respond to social cues, and how to start a conversation and keep it going - basic social skills they will need their whole lives.
The Impact Of Screen Time On Empathy
The rate at which children with significant impulse control and behavioural issues are increasing is mind-blowing.
Screen time inhibits the natural development of impulse control, social skills and social-emotional skills such as empathy. As well as things like how to read social cues from facial expressions.
Focus, empathy and impulse control are core elements of social-emotional intelligence that actively contribute to positive relationship-building and mental well-being.
Early childhood is the time that children learn to interact with the world they live in. They need off-screen experience to develop critical cognitive and SEI skills otherwise they grow up not knowing how to manage the world around them.
Screen time is setting kids up to struggle. So what can we do about it?
The World Health Organization screen time guidelines recommend no screen time for children for the first 2 years and less than 1 hour a day for children aged 2-4 years.
Here are three things a caregiver can do to help a child develop their social-emotional skills with boundaries and limits on screen time.
1 Create a healthy routine
Bored kids will seek out tech to pass the time or to escape things like chores, homework or uncomfortable social situations.
Creating a healthy routine with firm boundaries and limits that won’t fall by the wayside when life gets busy is key.
Kids learn from examples, so if they see their parents scrolling through social media for hours, they will want to do the same. Get them into the fresh air every day, encourage them to play and read, and make sure they have access to puzzles, books and creative expression.
2. Share hobbies and interests
Get excited about what your children are interested in. Ask them about what they are reading, what music they like to listen to, and what sport they would like to play.
Cheer them on, and encourage them to explore and try new things together. Hobbies build confidence and and help you bond with your child, to build a strong relationship that will stand you in good stead when they are in their teens.
3. Create Tech-Free Zones
Limiting devices at certain times of the day such as meal times or in certain rooms, like bedrooms will have a hugely positive impact on your child's development and overall mental wellbeing.
Devices are being used more in schools and after school, but it is coming at a huge social-emotional cost.
How Screens Reduce Empathy
“Until babies develop language, all communication is non-verbal, so they depend heavily on looking at a face and deriving meaning from that face. Is this person happy with me, or are they upset with me? That two-way interaction between children and adult caregivers is critically important for brain development.” Charles Nelson, Harvard neuroscientist
Empathy is a critical social-emotional competency skill that underpins core interpersonal skills.
Excessive screentime is like feeding a child junk food all the time, it makes them cranky and doesn’t provide all the good vitamins and minerals that a child needs to grow. But more than that, it is like placing a mute button on your child’s capacity for empathy, which has far-reaching effects into adulthood.
Want to know more about how to help your child with developing their essential social-emotional learning skills? Momentum Learning has a wide range of learning options for youth, educators and parents. Get in touch with us. We would love to hear from you.
Work with Us
Momentum Learning has been supporting Leaders, Teams, Teachers, Rangatahi and their Whānau to develop their social and emotional intelligence since 2020. Talk to us about exploring this for your organisation.
Let’s work together.